![]() ![]() The nature cult is the reason the original movie could have worked, so I’m amazed that LaBute and his creative team could have 100% missed that extremely important element in this remake.Įarlier this year, Studio Canal and Robert Hardy launched a major search for the original cut of The Wicker Man and found a working original cut, which was to be remastered and released. The original Wicker Man is regarded as a horror classic (I wish I could have seen it), so I can only imagine that the island’s nature cult in the original film was menacing and scary instead of incompetent and emo like the remake portrays them. He tries to reason with people on the island, but even when they spout out some poorly-written line about nature and the gods and something or other, he stops and brushes it off like nothing is happening. LaBute tried to keep the audience on edge by gradually releasing information as the script went on, but it’s painfully obvious from get-go that there’s something fishy (or sharky) about this island and Edward is completely oblivious to it. The title of the video backs me up.) As for the plot itself, it’s so poorly paced that you have to laugh at it in the same way you laugh at two drunk guys trying to order Dominoes. This is the movie that began some of the most iconic bad-movie moments, including the infamous “Not the Bees!” and “How’d It Get Burned?!” scenes, but more importantly, The Wicker Man contains what I believe is the greatest moment in cinema history. There is no way that the world back in 2006 was ready for the magic of this movie. Writer-director Neil LaBute and Nicholas Cage are a match made in heaven comparable to Joss Whedon and Robert Downey, Jr. But at least we can all agree that he has the best hair the world has ever seen. I wonder, does Cage try for this kind of image? Does he secretly know that he’s such a fantastic actor that he can get away with not giving a shit? Or does he genuinely think that random changes in volume make for compelling performances? The world may never know. There is no rhyme or reason to anything he does. ![]() When Edward arrives, he finds out (much later than the audience does) that things on this strange little island are not what they seem.Ĭage plays Edward with the nuance and skill of a squirrel on quaaludes every line, facial expression, and gesture is either a completely nonchalant declarative statement or a tirade of anger and frustration. While taking time off from work to recover, he receives a letter from his ex-fiancée saying her daughter has gone missing and she wants him to find her on a little island in Puget Sound. Edward Malus is a cop traumatized by the death of a little girl and her mother who were hit by a truck after he pulled them over. It is a remake of a 1973 cult classic by Robin Hardy (that, sadly, does not star Nicholas Cage). ![]() ![]() The Wicker Man is a horror film starring Nicholas Cage and various other actors and actresses that are not Nicholas Cage. With that out of the way, let’s get right to it. So before you go onto r/onetruegod and write nasty posts questioning my viewing methods, know that I did my best to appreciate The Wicker Man with all the integrity that it’s due. I spared no expense to make sure that I experienced this important film as perfectly as possible I found a 4:3 pan-and-scan copy and calibrated my sound equipment precisely to accentuate bees buzzing and nonsensical screaming. Before I get into the actual review, I’d like to clarify for all of the Wicker Man purists out there that yes, I watched the canonical unrated version of the film with the more graphic (yet shorter) ending. ![]()
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